Super Pup!

A weekend in Maine is exactly what I needed. The first few weeks of work haven't exactly been a brain beating challenge, but I still felt wiped out by the time Friday rolled around. Since I'm now the proud owner of my mother's 1999 Grand Prix, a car that actually accelerates when you hit the gas as opposed to the Grand Am that has to think about it and get back to you before it kicks into gear, I decided to battle it out with a Subaru WRX on 495. I finally catch up to the WRX and look over to check out the 20 something gear head behind the wheel and I realize... the guy has to be at least 65!

Anyway, I caught up with my parents in York and we walked around the town for a little while and I snapped this photo of a cute little chihuahua sitting with his owner. Then I went back to the hotel and messed around with it until I got... SUPER PUP!!

Watur Is Fine!

So here's a quick insider's view of what my life is like now that I have Riley.This afternoon I broke a nail so I decided to cut them all down. For some reason Riley found the process incredibly fascinating and joined me in hunkering over the toilet while I cut my nails. So glad he's willing to pose for the camera!

Today he was very unhappy when I came home and had the nerve to break his routine. Usually he goes downstairs with me to get the mail and I hadn't realized that he now expects this as a part of his day. Today I decided to go in the front door and get the mail on my way, and when I got to the top of the stairs, Riley came out looking rather confused. I went into the kitchen, he continued to sit at the top of the stairs staring at me. When I headed towards my bedroom, Riley started down the stairs. He got all the way to the bottom and turned around like, "Hey lady. Mail?" Can I just say how horrible I felt that I had gotten the mail without him?

Cake or Death?

Last night I had a total PMS moment and decided that I needed chocolate...STAT. Of course, now that I can almost fit into a size 8, I have absolutely no unhealthy snacks in my house. Except for...drum roll please...BROWNIE MIX! So after inhaling an omelette for dinner (complete with diced ham and chunks of kielbasa masquerading as sausage) I fired up the oven and set about baking my brownies. The whole time I was "blending the ingredients in a mixing bowl" I kept thinking, If only I had Hershey Kisses to bake into the brownies. Unfortunately, I couldn't even go out to the store and buy kisses because I'm totally flat broke! But the wheels in my head kept turning as I "generously greased an 8X8 pan". Then it hit me. FROSTING! Then something else hit me. SPRINKLES! Then yet another something hit me. A can of soup that I pulled down on my head while reaching for the frosting!

It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Gets Glass in Their Crotch

I have a complaint for the makers of the fabulous toilet wand, which has made my life substantially easier in every way... until last night that is. Since Riley really seems to enjoy doing the breast stroke in the toilet, I figured I'd clean it. Who wants a soggy cat with questionable stains on his fur, I mean really. So I'm scrubbing away with my handy dandy toilet wand because I, unlike Riley, despise having to submerge my hand in cold, dirty water in order to clean the bowl, and suddenly the scrubber head pops off and sails right down the toilet just as I'm flushing away the bleach! For all you engineering majors out there, can you tell me what happens when a large spongey thing attached to a plastic disc that is twice the circumference of the hole, decides to make a break for the river? That's right! IT GETS STUCK!

My mother's all too helpful suggestion was to take apart a metal coathanger and try to drag the sponge back out. So here I am on hands and knees, jamming a coathanger into my toilet when Riley decides NOW would be a fantastic time to play in the water. He starts trying to attack the coathanger and in the meantime winds up soaking me with toilet water, and of course the sponge is STILL stuck. I throw the hanger down on the bathroom floor in exasperation and watch as Riley pounces on it just to make sure it's dead, and I realize I have only one option. Sticking my arm in the cold, dirty water to fish out the sponge that is currently making my life damned near impossible. Oh, and did I mention I REALLY REALLY have to pee at this moment?

I don a yellow rubber glove and try sticking my hand into the drain hole to see how far the sponge has gone. But of course, since I had flushed the toilet unsuccessfully the bowl is almost completely full so when I stick my hand in, the cold, dirty water floods into the top of the glove, thus negating the purpose of said glove. I try not to gag as I reach in and finally feel the plastic nib of the sponge. I yank it out with a triumphant, "HA!"... which of course was a bad idea because HEY GUESS WHAT sponges retain water! Imagine that! So yeah, had to wash my face after that....

She's Dibbling a Couple of Kids Across the Hall....

Week two of the job successfully completed! The crowning achievement was receiving a paycheck after two months of living off of frosting and Ramen noodles. Of course, after paying rent and all the bills that have been piling up, I have a whopping $66.60 left in my checking account. Obviously, in fulfillment of the prophecy that the world will soon burst into flames. Anyway, the kids are great, being that they're actually normal. They all work hard but still like to goof around which makes the day go by so much faster, even when I find myself reteaching a concept. I can suddenly see 5 or 6 years flying by at this place.

Other than that, life is pretty slow lately. I have a new cat named Riley who is as dumb as a bag of rocks but has definitely livened up my apartment. For some reason he has a fascination with water and I frequently find him perched in the kitchen sink or sticking his head in the shower. It's cute and all, but he's developed this bad habit of going for a swim in the toilet. I don't think he ends up in there on purpose. I'm fairly certain he hops up there, intending to simply drink out of it, but he's such a chubber that his fat causes excess momentum and he takes a header into the can. And it's funny. Until he crawls into my lap and I realize he's soggy. He also likes to crawl between the comforter and the blankets on my bed and tunnel his way around. He's an odd creature but I never get the normal animals. Brain damage seems to come as a package deal with my pets. But at least he fits in...