I'm alive. Just barely. I have a throat infection, an ear infection, and a sinus infection. Basically my entire skull is just full of ooze. There's no other way to describe it. I've been in bed since Monday night, emerging only briefly on Wednesday to make an attempt at going to work for 9:30. I made it until 12:30 when I had to go home and die in a corner. Then I had an allergic reaction to the amoxycillin I was taking and had to describe to the on call doctor (who obviously doesn't know me and isn't used to my vocabulary) that I was sick to my stomach and had the "itchies". Apparently medical school doesn't address the "itchies".
The only thing that redeemed this week is getting a box of books in the mail. I love getting books in the mail. In fact I love it so much that one time the guy I was dating came home unexpectedly and, upon finding me in the kitchen with my brand new pile of books was prompted to say, "Did you just sniff those?"
Yes. Yes I did.
So I'm reading My Fair Lazy by Jen Lancaster, my favorite author and the reason I started blogging many moons ago. I have twice laughed myself into a snort and I've only read about 8 pages so far. I've learned not to read Jen on a full bladder...
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Dear Luckeyfrog....
(I now refer you to the most recent comment on "Dear Wendy....")
Dear Luckeyfrog-
I congratulate you on becoming a teacher. From the sounds of it you are new to the field and therefore still maintain much of your enthusiasm. I applaud you for that and hope to God that you're able to hold onto it for quite some time. And yes, I read Wendy's comment quickly and do realize she asked me to read and comment on it. In fact I gave her comment as much attention as she obviously gave the content of my blog posts.
I had optimisim and idealism once when I was 18 and started teaching. Yes, I started teaching at the age of 18. And yes, there's a story behind that. Back in the day I attended public schools where early on they dicsovered that I was a little quicker on the uptake than most kids in my quiet little suburb. I was placed in a "gifted and talented" program until I hit high school where I began taking AP classes and getting ready for college. You know what happened my junior year of high school? I was so miserable- between being bullied and being generally bored- I told my parents to figure out how to fix my public school experience or else I was going to drop out.
Cue my high school graduation at the tender age of 17. That fall I started college. Where I was teased unmercifully for being the youngest person in the freshman class. However, that allowed me to start teaching under a waiver at the age of 18. I am now almost 30. You do the math.
Now, after you have taught special education for 12 years, then you and I can talk about optimism. We can also address your comment about "strong, motivated teachers" because I'm not sure I appreciate the subtext that perhaps my cynicism comes from a lack of motivation. Au contraire. My motivation has guided me through two BA's, an MED, and an MAT. It guided me through a year of guardianship of one of my students who didn't have parents and needed someone to help make decisions about her IEP and give her Christmas presents. It guided me through the suicide of one of my students. It also helped me return to work the day after one of my students jumped me and broke my nose with a sneaker.
Many of my old stories that are posted on this blog are humorous. However, there lurks beneath the humor the true struggle of helping a special education student learn to value themselves as well as their education. You're right Frog, you can't do it all. We as educators do indeed have to take the little victories as our own and hope that at the end of the day that can be enough to sustain us as professionals. (Sidenote... Nicholas started college at Porter and Chester Institute this fall and moved into his first apartment!)
In the end I will say to you one thing and one thing only. I have earned my cynicism and my option to rant. I will stand by what I said: If you stopped me on the street and asked me for one good reason to become a teacher, at this moment in time I wouldn't be able to give you one. Until I see teachers like you held up and encouraged to continue to be optimistic and idealistic, I will have a hard time believing in educationt the way it was meant to be when formal education was developed.
I hope that in ten years you are able to email me and tell me about your teaching experience and that you have nothing but positive to share with me, thus making my cynicism largely unwarranted. However, until that day comes, I reserve my right to tell you I personally wouldn't wish our education system on my worst enemy.
Love and kisses,
Paste
Dear Luckeyfrog-
I congratulate you on becoming a teacher. From the sounds of it you are new to the field and therefore still maintain much of your enthusiasm. I applaud you for that and hope to God that you're able to hold onto it for quite some time. And yes, I read Wendy's comment quickly and do realize she asked me to read and comment on it. In fact I gave her comment as much attention as she obviously gave the content of my blog posts.
I had optimisim and idealism once when I was 18 and started teaching. Yes, I started teaching at the age of 18. And yes, there's a story behind that. Back in the day I attended public schools where early on they dicsovered that I was a little quicker on the uptake than most kids in my quiet little suburb. I was placed in a "gifted and talented" program until I hit high school where I began taking AP classes and getting ready for college. You know what happened my junior year of high school? I was so miserable- between being bullied and being generally bored- I told my parents to figure out how to fix my public school experience or else I was going to drop out.
Cue my high school graduation at the tender age of 17. That fall I started college. Where I was teased unmercifully for being the youngest person in the freshman class. However, that allowed me to start teaching under a waiver at the age of 18. I am now almost 30. You do the math.
Now, after you have taught special education for 12 years, then you and I can talk about optimism. We can also address your comment about "strong, motivated teachers" because I'm not sure I appreciate the subtext that perhaps my cynicism comes from a lack of motivation. Au contraire. My motivation has guided me through two BA's, an MED, and an MAT. It guided me through a year of guardianship of one of my students who didn't have parents and needed someone to help make decisions about her IEP and give her Christmas presents. It guided me through the suicide of one of my students. It also helped me return to work the day after one of my students jumped me and broke my nose with a sneaker.
Many of my old stories that are posted on this blog are humorous. However, there lurks beneath the humor the true struggle of helping a special education student learn to value themselves as well as their education. You're right Frog, you can't do it all. We as educators do indeed have to take the little victories as our own and hope that at the end of the day that can be enough to sustain us as professionals. (Sidenote... Nicholas started college at Porter and Chester Institute this fall and moved into his first apartment!)
In the end I will say to you one thing and one thing only. I have earned my cynicism and my option to rant. I will stand by what I said: If you stopped me on the street and asked me for one good reason to become a teacher, at this moment in time I wouldn't be able to give you one. Until I see teachers like you held up and encouraged to continue to be optimistic and idealistic, I will have a hard time believing in educationt the way it was meant to be when formal education was developed.
I hope that in ten years you are able to email me and tell me about your teaching experience and that you have nothing but positive to share with me, thus making my cynicism largely unwarranted. However, until that day comes, I reserve my right to tell you I personally wouldn't wish our education system on my worst enemy.
Love and kisses,
Paste
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Dear Wendy....
(I refer you all to the most recent comment on "What Ails You")
Dear Wendy Graham-
I appreciate your comment on my recent blog post however, I have to ask Wendy... Did you even read my blog before commenting? The article you're asking me to consider contributing to is meant to be a positive, encouraging one with 100 reasons to become a teacher. In case you haven't noticed, I can no longer even come up with ONE!
Right now, after everything I've experienced in the last few years in both public and private institutions, I can see no good reason for any rational human being to become a teacher. Consider our current society. From almost day one children are encouraged to find entertainment in mind numbing video games and borderline inappropriate television shows. Parents spend more time shopping on EBay than reading to their kids. The average middle school student can't place the state of Massachusetts in national geography let alone tell you anything about contemporary history. High school students are graduating with the minimum of useful knowledge, having learned more about the continent of Africa than about the American Revolution. Teachers are governed by curriculum frameworks and standardized state testing, both of which are inherently flawed, being designed to essentially sap teachers of creativity while making it impossible for them to effectively pass on the love of learning.
Yes, I plan to spend the summer teaching a college course. I plan to teach college students who have chosen to sit in my class and soak up every word I say. However, I will teach each class knowing that the number of students continuing on to college will decrease incrementally year by year. I will also keep in the back of my mind the thought that many of my future students will have no idea about the history that effects the subject I will be teaching. Will they know about the Holocaust, who Hitler was, how the United States Eugenics movement contributed largely to Hitler's doctrines? Most likely not. Will they understand that just a few short decades ago there was no such thing as special education or disabilities advocacy? That some of them, if dyslexic or maybe hard of hearing, would never have been allowed in my class? Definitely not.
Today's students feel entitled to an education but they don't understand what education is supposed to mean to us as individual human beings. They attend school simply to make social connections that they may or may not use appropriately. Some will unmercifully bully others until the one being bullied takes irreversible action. Others will spend their days texting, updating their Facebook status, and planning the next big event. They see the movie instead of reading the book. They use Google instead of an encyclopedia. They download magazines instead of going to the library. They want everything at the speed of light.
And don't get me started on special education. At the risk of putting myself in a position where I will be blackballed from special educaiton until the year 2056, I will say that the diagnosing of special needs has gotten out of hand. On the other side of the coin though, the ill treatment of those with a true disability is abhorrent. Special education is an oxymoron. There's nothing special about it. And there's no education involved.
Before I rant to the point where my head explodes, let me wrap this up by saying, show me a teacher that isn't counting down to retirement and maybe I'll be able to think of a reason to get into the profession in the first place. In the meantime...
Reason #1 to Become a Teacher: Summers Off
Love and kisses,
Paste
Dear Wendy Graham-
I appreciate your comment on my recent blog post however, I have to ask Wendy... Did you even read my blog before commenting? The article you're asking me to consider contributing to is meant to be a positive, encouraging one with 100 reasons to become a teacher. In case you haven't noticed, I can no longer even come up with ONE!
Right now, after everything I've experienced in the last few years in both public and private institutions, I can see no good reason for any rational human being to become a teacher. Consider our current society. From almost day one children are encouraged to find entertainment in mind numbing video games and borderline inappropriate television shows. Parents spend more time shopping on EBay than reading to their kids. The average middle school student can't place the state of Massachusetts in national geography let alone tell you anything about contemporary history. High school students are graduating with the minimum of useful knowledge, having learned more about the continent of Africa than about the American Revolution. Teachers are governed by curriculum frameworks and standardized state testing, both of which are inherently flawed, being designed to essentially sap teachers of creativity while making it impossible for them to effectively pass on the love of learning.
Yes, I plan to spend the summer teaching a college course. I plan to teach college students who have chosen to sit in my class and soak up every word I say. However, I will teach each class knowing that the number of students continuing on to college will decrease incrementally year by year. I will also keep in the back of my mind the thought that many of my future students will have no idea about the history that effects the subject I will be teaching. Will they know about the Holocaust, who Hitler was, how the United States Eugenics movement contributed largely to Hitler's doctrines? Most likely not. Will they understand that just a few short decades ago there was no such thing as special education or disabilities advocacy? That some of them, if dyslexic or maybe hard of hearing, would never have been allowed in my class? Definitely not.
Today's students feel entitled to an education but they don't understand what education is supposed to mean to us as individual human beings. They attend school simply to make social connections that they may or may not use appropriately. Some will unmercifully bully others until the one being bullied takes irreversible action. Others will spend their days texting, updating their Facebook status, and planning the next big event. They see the movie instead of reading the book. They use Google instead of an encyclopedia. They download magazines instead of going to the library. They want everything at the speed of light.
And don't get me started on special education. At the risk of putting myself in a position where I will be blackballed from special educaiton until the year 2056, I will say that the diagnosing of special needs has gotten out of hand. On the other side of the coin though, the ill treatment of those with a true disability is abhorrent. Special education is an oxymoron. There's nothing special about it. And there's no education involved.
Before I rant to the point where my head explodes, let me wrap this up by saying, show me a teacher that isn't counting down to retirement and maybe I'll be able to think of a reason to get into the profession in the first place. In the meantime...
Reason #1 to Become a Teacher: Summers Off
Love and kisses,
Paste
Thursday, January 28, 2010
What Ails You
After everything that's gone on this year (yes, I realize it's still only January) I have to say I have finally found the cure for what ails me these days. Aside from finding what I believe to be true love, I have also found a sound way to make myself happy without also driving myself crazy.
I'm now working retail. Something I kept swearing to myself I would never do again after spending a few months as a visual merchandising director for Macy's. However, I am now a keyholder at a tiny boutique type store in a very affluent suburb and I'm finding that I really enjoy it. It's easy, quiet work and I love the people I work with. On top of that it's given me more time to devote to my writing and my photography.
On top of that, I just got a call that the college from which I graduated would like me to develop and teach a course on institutional models. Teaching is in my blood. And though I can't stand the school politics of teaching primary or secondary school, I'm absolutely looking forward to working with college students who are actually choosing to be in my class. What a delight it will be to see the faces of students who actually want to hear what I have to say!
Next month I'm off on vacation for a few days. A much needed and deserved break indeed. But I have to say, I haven't been this happy and relaxed in ages!
I'm now working retail. Something I kept swearing to myself I would never do again after spending a few months as a visual merchandising director for Macy's. However, I am now a keyholder at a tiny boutique type store in a very affluent suburb and I'm finding that I really enjoy it. It's easy, quiet work and I love the people I work with. On top of that it's given me more time to devote to my writing and my photography.
On top of that, I just got a call that the college from which I graduated would like me to develop and teach a course on institutional models. Teaching is in my blood. And though I can't stand the school politics of teaching primary or secondary school, I'm absolutely looking forward to working with college students who are actually choosing to be in my class. What a delight it will be to see the faces of students who actually want to hear what I have to say!
Next month I'm off on vacation for a few days. A much needed and deserved break indeed. But I have to say, I haven't been this happy and relaxed in ages!
Friday, January 8, 2010
Getting Drenched
At the risk of entering the "too much information" zone, I have to tell you all, when it rains...well, you know the rest. Currently I'm working my tail off at a clothing store, making peanuts compared to what I was making but strangely it's been relaxing working a job where I feel so very little pressure to perform to rather twisted expectations and ideals.
However, on the homefront, I feel my muse has deserted me. Have I been writing? Pfft. No. Have I been out with my camera? Yes. And that little trip yielded a whopping three decent photos. Decent being a term I use generously here. It's been a little surreal, almost like I'm watching my life happen without me. Moving home in July I assumed life would finally settle down, that I could get into a rather comfortable groove with work, art, relationships. No dice sadly. It's one roller coaster ride after another.
I have also found a rather handy use for the "block" option on my cell phone plan. I won't go into hairy details but sometimes a girl's character judgement isn't as stellar as it could be. Girls, let me give you a bit of advice. Your mother? Is generally right. Should your mother tell you a guy gives her "the creeps" or has "stalker" printed somewhere on his person, take it for what it's worth and run in the opposite direction because chances are he'll wind up cornered by the cops in front of your house threatening to break your windshield.
On the brighter side of things, I had a great Christmas. I managed to finish reading three books which was a welcome change. I took a break from researching my current book and made it a point to try to enjoy myself. Hell, I even managed to go ice skating which I haven't done for a few years now. Anyway, it's a new year. Let's see what kind of trouble I can get in....
However, on the homefront, I feel my muse has deserted me. Have I been writing? Pfft. No. Have I been out with my camera? Yes. And that little trip yielded a whopping three decent photos. Decent being a term I use generously here. It's been a little surreal, almost like I'm watching my life happen without me. Moving home in July I assumed life would finally settle down, that I could get into a rather comfortable groove with work, art, relationships. No dice sadly. It's one roller coaster ride after another.
I have also found a rather handy use for the "block" option on my cell phone plan. I won't go into hairy details but sometimes a girl's character judgement isn't as stellar as it could be. Girls, let me give you a bit of advice. Your mother? Is generally right. Should your mother tell you a guy gives her "the creeps" or has "stalker" printed somewhere on his person, take it for what it's worth and run in the opposite direction because chances are he'll wind up cornered by the cops in front of your house threatening to break your windshield.
On the brighter side of things, I had a great Christmas. I managed to finish reading three books which was a welcome change. I took a break from researching my current book and made it a point to try to enjoy myself. Hell, I even managed to go ice skating which I haven't done for a few years now. Anyway, it's a new year. Let's see what kind of trouble I can get in....
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